Jean Sasson: Trailblazer for Female Empowerment

I first interviewed bestselling American author Jean Sasson as a bright eyed, bushy tailed postgrad student at Bournemouth University in 2007. The class assignment was to interview someone famous. Sitting in the tiny four corners of my dorm room, my mind went into overdrive thinking about who I wanted to cover. My favorite writer, Jean, came to mind immediately. Thanks to the already mature digital world, I managed to get in contact with Jean and couldn’t believe my luck when she responded and agreed to an interview. I was ecstatic. When we spoke, Jean was instantly likeable with her friendly Southern drawl. I made notes frantically as she opened her heart and mind on the other end of the phone. We spoke for an hour but frankly, I could’ve listened to her all day. Her knowledge of the Muslim world is immense having lived in Saudi Arabia for 12 years, and spending time in other Middle Eastern countries for the past 26 years.  Jean’s passion for women’s rights is limitless. She's even been on the Oprah Winfrey Show! Watch her in action.

Speaking to Jean literally takes one back to the pages of her books, her voice mirrored in the words that make for seamless and quick reading. I don’t think I have taken longer than three evenings to finish any one of her books, be it the bestselling Princess trilogy, Mayada: Daughter of Iraq, Growing up bin Laden, Love in a Torn Land or For the Love of a Son, to name some of my personal favorites. Though we first spoke a decade ago, we kept in touch and in 2010 I interviewed Jean again. Ten years on since our first conversation, I knew my new blog Around the World wouldn’t be complete without her, so here we are. Thank you Jean for being ever so gracious! Your work continues to inspire and empower women around the world …

You have been a relentless advocate of women’s rights for decades. How effective has your voice been in making a difference?

My work has not changed country laws but the difference has certainly come with individuals. Many thousands of readers have been inspired, going into careers that help people. I have seen women devoting their lives to helping the young, getting law degrees to work on women’s rights issues, or sharing their income with the poor. My work has influenced people for the better. These people can rise to political office one day and make a tangible difference. Some people of other cultures have expressed their opinions that I don’t have the right to interfere. Rape cases in Afghanistan and Pakistan for example tend to remain unaccountable with the blame placed on women. America has plenty of shame as well. The most dangerous time for women in my own country is when they are pregnant – the danger of being left or beaten by husbands who are not ready for fatherhood is prevalent. As far as my life, I’m very fortunate to have also personally known only kind, gentle men in my lifetime.  I’m not timid or shy so I have never been in relationships where men felt they could rule. When I was married to Peter Sasson, his male friends were surprised that he had no say-so when it came to my travels.  In fact, I often traveled to Thailand alone.  I went there to research the sex slave industry where girls as young as eight were sold as sex slaves. But I have experienced some shocking incidents, for example, when I was in Taiwan and Egypt I experienced men knocking on my hotel door assuming a woman on her own needed company.

What stereotypes and expectations have you faced in your life as a free woman?

People have been surprised that Peter and I chose not to have children. I always knew that I would have a career that would interfere with a normal family life. Also, I was the daughter who assumed care of my ageing parents.  My friends in the Eastern world were shocked. Even my friends from the Western world lectured about becoming old without kids. To this day I am asked if I regret not having children. I have experienced other women considering this to be a bigger issue than men. It’s been a shock for me as I always support women and expect them to support me. Some women are generous minded but others don’t want you to be too successful. Some women have been offended by my proactive stance on animals. When I see an abandoned or mistreated animal it’s not just my business but it’s my obligation to help. I can’t see a live being in pain, no matter if it is a man or a woman, although men don’t face the same difficulties as women. It distresses me greatly to see suffering in the world.

You have been fearless as the voice of the powerless, be it women suppressed under certain regimes or animals stranded by their owners. What makes you fearless?

I have never known fear of another person. I inherited this trait from my father. He lost his mother when he was 12. This was forever sadness for him. My aunt, his older sister, said he always worked.  Growing up, there was a creek near his house where everyone would go in for a swim. He would charge them a nickel to use a towel. I truly am fearless when it comes to other people and can honestly say that I’m not afraid to put my life on the line. When I gave the late Mayada advice, she shook her head and said “Jean, we’re all mice” in comparison. When I arrived in Baghdad, I refused to accept a male translator as I knew women wouldn’t dare to speak in the presence of a man. I have taken endangered routes through desserts. In 1998, I was invited to meet Osama bin Laden by a Saudi citizen living in London who knew him.  This was before the world knew who he was at the time of embassy bombings in Africa. I was unable to accept the invitation, and have lived to regret it, of course.  So I cannot say exactly why I am immune to fear, but I am glad that I am as it makes it easy for me to travel to dangerous places and get to know what is happening to others first-hand.

Though Growing up Bin Laden received a lot of attention [Jean appeared on Al Jazeerah], the Princess trilogy resonates the most years after it was first published. What makes it so special?

Both Princess and Mayada had women fighting against overwhelming odds, never giving up. The Princess risked her life to help other women, and to bring change to her  country, Saudi Arabia. Mayada was fighting for her beloved Iraq, and for her children. Both had valid, strong reasons to take risks. We love to see a champion. Human life is so interesting. When we hear stories of women we can’t help but be pulled towards them. Watch Jean on Al Jazeera.

Malala’s was a very powerful story. Do you think you might cover Pakistan one day?

I am covering Pakistan in a book that I plan to write over the next year.  I don’t like to talk about the specifics of any book project prior to completion, but my history of writing makes it clear that I will focus on the subject of women in Pakistan, and challenges that some women there face.

The evolution of digital has transformed the world. What is the future of novel writing?

Reading is a good, sensuous pleasure. I myself have read a total of two digital books as I am in love with the printed book. Yet, not everyone is like me, thank goodness.  In fact, today my digital sales exceed my book sales and this will only continue. I have a huge collection of 10,000 books, with many of those books on the Middle East and other travel books. I considered giving my collection to a library so that they might have a Jean Sasson room. Libraries didn’t agree to safeguard my books, telling me that they could not guarantee that they would not sell my books!  They wouldn’t keep them. Winston Churchill loved books and famously said “If you cannot read all your books...fondle them---peer into them, let them fall open where they will, read from the first sentence that arrests the eye, set them back on the shelves with your own hands, arrange them on your own plan so that you at least know where they are. Let them be your friends; let them, at any rate, be your acquaintances.” I love to dust my books though my nieces or nephew end up finishing the job as more often than not I’ll end up curled up on the floor with a book I’ve rediscovered. Moving forward I think that digital books will rule with only a few print book collectors in the world.

Which of your books didn’t do as expected and which exceeded expectations?

Growing up bin Laden didn’t do as expected.  I was surprised as no other books covered the subject in such a personal manner.  No one knew Osama better than his first wife and his son, Omar.  But, a movement had affected the world, bringing people to misinterpret the book. The title may have led them to believe it was frivolous. Critics tried to harm it, though writer Peter Bergen gave it positive review. As for the rest of my books, they all did really well. I wouldn’t write them if I didn’t find them compelling.

[Thinking of Hilary Clinton] Why aren’t women breaking the glass ceiling today?

Social change comes so slowly. Women are a part of the problem. Women too often treat their sons better than their daughters. My nephew is nineteen and is an example of what a young man should be. He doesn’t try to control his girlfriend or any people around him, actually. Changing the fabric of social life doesn’t come overnight. Think about how long it took women to get the vote. My mother allowed my father to make most decisions even though she was seething underneath. Even a great military and policeman who uses violence in the workplace can let it filter out at home.

What’s next?

I will write the book on Pakistani women, and I will also write my memoir.  It’s time.  I have put off writing my own story for years as I always came across another story I felt was more important and interesting than my own.  But, as said, it is time to write my own memoirs as I still have my full memory intact. 

What’s a typical day in the life of Jean Sasson?

There’s never a dull moment in the life of someone who cares and becomes involved with causes. It’s gift of God to have the intensity of empathy. It’s not happening to someone else, it’s happening to me. I’m feeling it exactly. I have to get involved. My friends say it’s a curse. My life is actually completely chaotic. I take care of living things but my house a mess. My idea of a good time is doing something that makes a difference. I’m a serious person and don’t think I’ve ever done anything frivolous in my life. Even something like playing games on my computer never entered my mind [Spoken like a true bookworm].

Follow Jean on Facebook @AuthorJeanSasson and Twitter @JeanSasson. 
You can keep up to date with her latest work on www.jeansasson.com.

Dear Pakistan

I visited Pakistan after almost four years, the longest I’ve stayed away from home before home. I had been feeling the itch for a year leading up to it. How foolish was I for waiting this long. As per my blog bio, sharing is caring and I’m inviting you on this journey which managed to shake me to my core in just two short weeks.

Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam 
I get to the airport three hours before my flight for some good ol’ duty free shopping. When I reach my gate, I am upgraded to business class. I’m ecstatic as I am feeling a little sorry for myself because I have the flu. In my fragile state, this moment of kindness makes me want to hug the airport staff giving me the news but that would be far from appropriate and definitely weird. The flight goes well until we have an hour’s delay. Dubai’s too foggy and the runway’s too crowded for us to land.  I’m worried I’ll miss my connecting flight to Karachi but I’m assured the next flight will be postponed. Fortunately, it is.

Dubai International Airport

I find a Starbucks and grab some coffee. It tastes like shite. I pretend it doesn’t. I walk down to my gate and I’m thrown right into some less than desirable Pakistani ways. The men stare too much. The concept of forming lines doesn’t exist. The airport staff scold some and remind them of the rules. We board at last. People sit in each other’s seats. We have an hour and a half’s delay. Damn fog! Some of the men think it’s acceptable to summon stewardesses for water every 5 mins. When it’s time to land, people start unbuckling their belts and standing up while the plane’s still moving on the runway.  A steward and stewardess scold them.

Jinnah International Airport, Karachi 

I make my way to the “Ladies and Children” line at border control thinking it’ll move faster. Nice try Naveen. Men filter in from the haphazard lines around us, making waiting time MUCH longer. A lady in a veil braves the situation, confronts the men and strides to the front of the line to complain. The officials tell her she’s welcome to do the same and break the line ahead of the men. I feel out of my element and don’t dare to be vocal myself. While waiting, I make conversation with a Pakistani woman who looks like she’s my age. She asks me the eternally favorite question of Pakistanis - “Are you married?”. I cheekily tell her I’m dodging the married life. She doesn't seem impressed. An hour later I’m finally past baggage claim and out of the airport. I am blinded by the natural sunlight as I exit. I hope my aunt has spotted me! She has. I walk through a bed of rose petals. Someone important must have arrived just before me. The security guard scolds someone in the crowd for littering. The driver carries my suitcase for me and when we get to the apartment, the building watchman does. Finally, someone to help me with my bags!

 
The House

It’s familiar and gloriously colourful, full of artefacts my aunt has collected from her travels around the world. It’s pristine and clean. I don’t need to ask but I know she’s spent all of yesterday preparing for my arrival. She is after all the perfect host and an aunt who spoils to no limits. It’s NYE but as I haven’t slept at all flying in I can barely keep my eyes open. I pass out shortly after 11pm and sleep through NYE celebrations which incidentally include a lot of firing in the air: Karachi’s version of fireworks. Before I do I lather myself with anti-mosquito repellent. Dengue is prevalent and with my rubbish immune system I’m not prepared to take any risks. I sleep like a baby and wake up shortly before 8am to the shrill honk of a truck.

The Mall

I recognize a lot of Western brands. The floors are shiny. I’m actually worried I might slip.  All of Karachi’s popuation seems to have found its way here. The late Junaid Jamshed’s clothing store is still open for business. As a Pakistani who listened to his music as a child, I feel sad walking past it. His current, more sober music plays in other parts of the mall. I wonder if he was celebrated as much when he lived. I look around and notice extravagantly dressed women and children. A little boy’s actually wearing a suit. Some people are taking selfies and pictures inside shops. I think to myself that they must be tourists from neighboring cities. Their excitement is sweet to watch. The price tags in some of the high end stores have magical powers. They make my heart jump a little. Then again perhaps I’m still expecting to pay what I spent on the same thing 20+ years ago when I left Pakistan.

Driving

Clearly a four-lane road is just a mild suggestion as there are at least seven lanes at any given time. The cars are honking continuously. I manage to tune some out; others are aggressive and almost manufactured to bully other drivers out of their way. I am impressed and relieved to witness no accidents. Every car knows exactly when to brake – 1mm away from the other car – no more, no less. My lengthy and expensive driving lessons in the West will do me absolutely no good in Karachi but then again I’m not sure what Algebra and Geometry have done for my adult life either.

Visitors and Visits

Neighbors, family friends and relatives come in and out of the house. There is never a dull moment. Meeting elders who life is ageing much too fast is always accompanied with excellent food, warm hugs, nostalgia, well wishes and genuine interest in family abroad. Their memories and respect for our shared history makes the meets and greets priceless. It becomes more evident to me than ever before that their kindness has nothing to do with me. I haven’t earned it. It is credit to my family and especially my late grandmother whose goodwill I am being rewarded with.

My Aunt

She’s my only aunt and therefore never had to compete with another aunt or uncle for my affection, yet, even if she had to, she would have outshone everyone. She taught me to love a sibling’s children as my own. Her hospitality is indescribable and I won’t attempt to put it in words, except that she puts the world before her. I wish that she would learn to give herself even half the importance.

My Cousin

She runs a home. She has two beautiful children. She manages everything, wearing the boss cap elegantly, smiling through the challenging periods. I have learned a lot about her on this trip. She makes me proud.

Nani’s Bedroom

I can never stay in her bedroom for more than a few minutes. It has too many memories. I can feel her presence in the room. It’s the room I spent many joyous periods of my childhood in. It’s where we shared a bed during weekend sleepovers. It’s where I wished her goodbye six years ago and her last words to me were “visit again”. Two weeks later, I did. There were no more conversations to be had. A part of my being died with her forever, leaving an empty shell of a person who will forever feel her loss.

Visiting Nani

I am surprised to feel numb as I gently sprinkle fresh rose petals over the grave, walking carefully around so as not to step on it, saying prayers for her. Then, completely out of nowhere and without warning, my heart gives way and warm tears blur my vision. The tissue I have brought along just “in case” has transformed itself into drenched, crumpled shreds in my hands. I am reminded that I have four years of suppressed emotions and that my grandmother was, as per the silver picture frame I once gifted her with our picture inside, “my best friend, my well wisher, my happiness, my pride, my life”.

The Last Supper

I leave the house for a few hours and return to the aroma of my favorite dishes. My aunt has cooked a feast. I gush with excitement over the four curries she brings over to the table. The smile on her face proves to me that she really does get immense joy from giving.

The Front Door

As I make one last visit to my late grandmother’s bedroom to wish it goodbye and step out of the house with a heavy heart, I watch my aunt lock the door, first the wooden one, then the grill. The vision of my aunt locking these doors shatters my soul into pieces. Each step I take away from the house feels like an effort, a sadness, a regret, a burden I know I will have to bear until I return again. At this moment I know I am leaving her and a part of myself behind. 

Jinnah International Airport, Karachi

The dreaded car ride to the airport doesn’t show any mercy. Emotions which usually only spring up at the airport take over in the car and stay with me. They will pass eventually, they always do. I will re-adapt. After all, the only thing constant in life is change. I hope I will be able to retain the warmth of Pakistan for at least a little bit longer. Eventually, I know the chill of the West will turn me cold again.

What did I learn on this visit to Pakistan? Roots are everything. Anything else is a distraction, a seductress leading us astray, leaving behind shadows of a lineage delicately held together by ageing relatives. There's no place like home. Dil dil Pakistan!

Laugh out Loud with Maz Jobrani

Maz Jobrani is one of the original Iranian comedians who made it mainstream. Earlier this year, the actor and comedian was invited to speak at The White House and received a big hug from Michelle Obama. He also performed on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. On a Middle East tour, the King of Jordan came to see him perform. That should give you an idea of his mass appeal. Born in Iran, Maz moved to the United States aged six at the time of the Iranian Revolution. The self-proclaimed "bald and beautiful" Iranian-American star act has his stand up rooted in multiculturalism and has spent the better part of last two decades using his platform to try and break stereotypes on race and religion. He has played character roles on television's Grey's Anatomy and True Blood as well as films like The Interpretor, breaking through where most ethnic actors have struggled. He's an LA Times bestselling author of I'm not a terrorist but I've played one on TV. His choice of book cover, him wearing a  turban and holding a bomb, cleverly illustrates the stereotyping every Muslim and Muslim-looking person faces in the world today. After being offered one too many terrorist parts in the acting world, Maz decided he wouldn't give into the stereotype anymore. His perseverance earned him the more universal acting roles of father and doctor.

Maz and his wife at the White House

Maz doesn't have the typical celebrity rags to riches story. His father was a self made millionaire who dropped him off to school in a Rolls Royce in an affluent neighborhood in California where understated Saabs and Volvos were the norm, much to his embarrassment. He has an undergrad in political science, not surprising given the politically infused stand up he delivers. His stance on multiculturalism extends to his personal life - his wife's Indian:) The man is representing! Intrigued? Read my exclusive interview with the funny man himself ..

How was the comedy scene when you started off?

I started in Los Angeles in 1998. Back then there was a good comedy scene, but the Comedy Store, which is my home club, was kind of in its dark ages. When you first start though, that doesn't phase you. I would just get up anywhere I could - comedy clubs, bars, church basements, coffee shops, strip clubs, etc. Anywhere someone was organizing a show I would get up. It was fun to do and you learned a lot doing those shows. I have always tried to get up about 5-10 times a week and back then I would do as many sets as I could in LA.

Your comedy uncovers some sensitive truths about different cultures and religions. What makes you fearless?

Well, I talk about my own experiences. I also feel that we have a lot more in common than some politicians would want us to admit. So I don't think it's fearless to talk about your own experience and point of view. It's the only thing I can talk about. Often, I have different cultures and countries represented in my audience so that makes it natural that I would talk about them. I have also traveled a lot so I find myself making observations everywhere I go. The honest truth is that I don't talk down about anybody so I feel like my shows are pretty inclusive.

Maz on TED Global

How do you keep material fresh? What inspires you?

You just have to keep writing. I have now done 3 solo standup specials that were about 1 hour in length each as well as my first special with the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour where I performed about 20 minutes. That means I've written at least 3 hours and 20 minutes of material over these past 18 years. I am now getting ready to do my next hour so that would get me to 4 hours and 20 minutes. Then there's the material that I never put on a special or the stuff that I might riff. So over all of these years I have several hours of material and I keep writing. As you evolve as a human being you have other subjects you want to talk about so that keeps me going. Currently there is a lot of material with Trump. Also, I have young kids who give me new material every day!

What's the biggest compliment and criticism you've heard?

I try not to believe the hype and I try not to listen to the criticisms. I know I'm good at what I do and a big part of that is that I've put in the work. Sometimes I have great nights and sometimes I bomb on stage, but I know that I will be up again the following night and it will be a different experience.

What's life like on the road?

People think that life on the road is exciting, but it can get old fast. I love doing standup, but given that I've got a young family it's hard for me to be away from them too long. I tend to get on the road, get as much rest as I can at the hotel and then have some kick ass shows. These days I'm on the first flight back whenever I can do that so that I can spend time with my kids. They grow up fast and I don't want to miss their childhoods.

What advice would you give a starter on the business of comedy?

It's pretty simple - just get on stage as much as you can (at least 5-10 times a week) and write, write, write!

Does Hollywood today have scope for great roles for ethnic actors?

I think it's changing a little bit. We have people from different backgrounds now producing shows and writing on them. There's Aziz Ansari's "Master of None" which is a show about a Muslim Indian. They don't really delve into that much and they don't need to. He's just a regular guy with immigrant parents. There's other shows out there that try to show Middle Easterners and people from the east in a different way than we've been used to seeing them. I think that as America becomes more diverse it's inevitable that our TV will too.

Want do you consider to be your greatest achievement?

I just try to be a good person. I think that's my greatest achievement. We have so many difficulties in life and so much sadness that if I can just be nice and good to people then I'm achieving what I want to achieve in life.

Is there a darker side to comedians? Robin Williams comes to mind.

Sure, but that's the case for anyone in any profession. The difference is that we are used to seeing comedians only be funny and only make us laugh. But comedians are humans like anyone else so we're going to have the more stable ones and some who have psychological issues. It is very sad when we see our public heroes fall. Robin Williams dying was a big hit to the comedy community!

What does Maz Jobrani do for fun?

I love to play soccer and will keep doing so until my knees tell me to take a seat. I enjoy watching movies and TV shows with my wife. I love hanging out with my kids and nephew. It's really fun!

What's next?

My movie Jimmy Vestvood; Amerikan Hero is available online so I continue to promote that. I hope to make a sequel as well. I'm also working on a new CBS sitcom called Superior Donuts which will premiere in the U.S. in early February.

An Iranian and a Pakistani meet for chai and jujeh kebabs. What do they talk about?

India.

Follow Maz Jobrani on Facebook and on Twitter @MazJobrani

Urban Pakistan's Shaping Up

As a Pakistani who hasn't lived in Pakistan since her pre-teen years, I have keenly observed developments in city life on my visits home to Karachi. In the past five years, my outsider gaze has seen a burst of health and fitness in urban Pakistan - a delightfully positive and necessary progression. I'll be presumptuous in saying that Pakistani food is the most divine food you'll ever taste and it could challenge an international Michelin star restaurant any day. Alas, as with all things that seem too good to be true, a typical Pakistani dish is carb heavy. With hot breakfast and carb filled lunches and dinners, you're looking at a practically all-carb diet that's an integral part of our culture. Add driving as the norm and you can forget about FitBit's recommended 10,000 steps. Or maybe not ...

Zainab is the face of the modern, fitter Pakistani woman. Yes, she's a mother and a domestic goddess, but she's also an advocate for female empowerment and just turned her passion for health and fitness into a business. She calls Impact Studio her baby, an endeavour she's sharing with her business partner and childhood friend,  Nida. Unlike larger fitness clubs and chains, Impact Studio gets to know each client personally to understand their motivation. The studio offers yoga, training and Pilates six days a week. It's ongoing program caters to any fitness level. Zainab finds art in fitness and considers exercise and yoga "therapeutic".  She enjoys the connection with each client and being able to help them through their personal journey. Impact Studio isn't succumbing to the societal pressures of being skinny; instead,  it endeavours to strengthen the mind, body and spirit.

Zainab Muhammad Jamal

Nida shares this sentiment - "For me, a healthy lifestyle is the only lifestyle. It's a choice you make every day to treat your body with respect.  It's about finding inner peace and balance in your life. I went from being a chubby kid and a yo-yo adult dieter to the realization that it wasn't sustainable. I needed to take charge and that's how I fell in love with fitness. Helping other women through fitness became my mission. Luckily, I have a childhood friend who's just as passionate about fitness". 

Our discussion on health and fitness made me wonder why it took Pakistan so long to get here. Zainab hit the nail on the head when she reminded me that we always had Jane Fonda home videos and wanted to be fitter but just didn’t know how to get there. A certain awareness was lacking. I was taken back to my own childhood in Pakistan when my mother would take us to the park in the evenings for a very brisk walk. I remember having to run just to keep up. She also had a Jane Fonda video which I watched with much amusement. I realize now that I was actually supposed to work out to it. Zainab also spoke of the sedimentary lifestyles of Pakistanis and discovered on a recent holiday in Turkey how liberating getting around on foot can be -  “Walking is denied to us here", she told me.

Here's what Nida had to say about Pakistan's boom in fitness -"Starvation and extreme dieting is finally transforming into healthy eating and physical activity. Women are opening up to challenging their bodies. They've moved from short term goals like looking their best for a wedding or party to incorporating healthy living in their lifestyle". 

 

I wanted to learn about the challenges, if any, of starting a business in Pakistan as a woman. Yes, the country has evolved by light years but it isn't yet up to par with the West. I was pleased to hear from Zainab that “Karachi and Pakistan are progressive; people have been doing great things already and been successful at them. [She] was inspired by them”. And how does she achieve that nirvana work-life balance? I know, I know, men are never asked the question of juggling home and work but let’s face it, it’s because they really don't have all that much to juggle. No matter how progressive we become, roles will always be predominately traditional in Pakistani culture. As with most working mums, Zainab has learned how to compartmentalize.  “I wake up very early to drop off my six-year old son to school. Then I teach and also train myself. I spend the afternoon at home with family. I alternate evening slots with Nida and share the morning classes as well."

What advice do these fab entrepreneurs who've got it all figured out have for the fitness hopefuls out there? 

Zainab shared these words of wisdom - "Eating healthy saves you from problems in life. What you eat is what your mind thinks. There's less likelihood of depression. You are in control of your own thoughts".
 
I guess it's time to dust off that Jane Fonda home video! For the Karachiites out there, make sure to get in touch with these fabulous ladies on theimpactway@gmail.com.

Nida Shahbazker

Stepping up in Saudi Arabia

I met Khadija in Zumba class. As an amateur dancer myself, I could tell that she had more rhythm in her steps than the rest of us, as do all good dancers who make the steps you put every creative cell in your body to realize look like a walk in the park. We got to chatting and within five minutes of speaking to this friendly Saudi girl, I knew I wanted to know more about her. It could be because I was born in Saudi Arabia and drawn to people and stories from the land which despite all the news stories and books, remains a bit of an enigma. Khadija was returning home the next week and we decided we’d stay in touch.

Keeping in touch was slightly different than I had imagined. Turns out calling the way you and I take for granted isn’t permitted in Saudi Arabia - Whatsapp, Facetime, Skype and Viber – we tried it all! After getting past the logistics of setting up a catch up, it was time to get to know this chica a little better who by the way is an ultra-focused medicine intern when she’s not travelling the world following her passion for dance. 

Khadija told me what dance really means to her - “Dancing is a way of expressing feeling. It’s my first language. Dancing is sharing”. Reading all the stories one does about Saudi Arabia, I wondered if as a female she faced much resistance in her choice to travel the world solo. Khadija frequently joins dance festivals and dance summer camps. Fortunately, her parents are liberal and while her mother was easier to persuade, her father took a little bit of convincing. “Their main concern was me travelling alone”, she shared. I was happy to hear this, coming from a protective family myself where the biggest concern was boys, especially as Islam instills the notion in us from birth that we must dress modestly as apparently, men have no self-control and will pounce at any given opportunity.

As smooth as Khadija’s journey to the dancing world may sound, I think it's an incredible opportunity for anyone to pursue their dream regardless. I asked Khadija if she thought she could change perceptions of dance in Saudi Arabia. If a 24-year-old girl managed to do in Saudi what I wasn’t allowed to do in Holland at her age, something tells me her drive and powers of persuasion could impact an otherwise conservative culture. Her own dance classes are attended by women from the teens to the forties. She told me, “Saudis aren’t aware of the dance culture. It’s not just about moving your body, dancing is an art and a community. Women come to class and let go of their insecurities about body image. I believe everyone has a dancer in them”. There’s hope still Naveen!

While Khadija is an inspiration to many of her students, I wanted to know who inspired her in the dancing world. She said “there are hundreds of them” before giving me a great insight into the various dancers she’s met on her travels, most of whom she has already had the opportunity to meet at Fair Play Dance Camp in Krakow, Poland. She mentioned Kevin Paradox, a Dutch dancer who taught her that “dance is about connecting with other people and feeling the flow and groove”. Then there’s Shaun Evaristo based in LA. “When he dances he’s meditating at the same time. He’s simply human”, she said. Another one she met was French dancer Laure Courtellemont who Khadija describes as “real and raw and embraces her femininity”. Then there’s Spider Salah, another French-Moroccan dancer who she finds inspiring being a Muslim dancer herself. She’s drawn to his humble personality. Finally, she met Keoni and Mari, a couple from San Diego. “When they dance they’re one body and one soul”, she told me. Listening to Khadija speak about these dance gurus, I could hear her passion for dance ran deep.

I mentioned earlier that Khadija studied medicine. She’s already in her sixth year at Al Faisal University in Riyadh. Currently, she’s on placement working in emergency departments at King Saud Medical City as part of the sixteen shifts she needs to complete. She’s also teaching at Glow Fit fitness centre in the evenings. Dance helped her realize that she can help people in many different ways. Perhaps she’ll find a way to combine medicine and dancing one day.

Learning about dance is always interesting to me, but I needed to know more about life for women in Saudi, stereotypes surrounding it and what freedom means to her. Khadija told me that the biggest misconception about Saudi women is that they don’t have the freedom to do the things they want to do. “Women today are starting their own businesses. Another misconception is that women are mistreated and oppressed”, she shared. She’s right. I have to admit that I’ve always had that impression myself. Khadija said something so beautiful here that I had to go to a yoga retreat to get some clarity myself - “Freedom is a state of mind. If you’re not free on the inside, all the outer freedom couldn’t help. If you’re not comfortable with who you are and afraid to express emotions, thoughts and ideas – you’re not a free person”.

Growing up as the only female among her siblings, she felt no difference in their upbringing. In fact, her parents’ love marriage was nontraditional and a mixed race one at that. They met at a hospital where her father was a professor teaching and her mother was presenting her research. Her mother is her biggest supporter, affording her opportunities to be as independent as she is. She added that she has never felt stereotyped, though she often surprises people when she tells them where she’s from. “They don’t expect to see you there”, she said speaking of Amsterdam’s popular dance club, Paradiso. The social scene is a little different in Saudi, where similar to Pakistan, gatherings at friends and family homes is more common.

I couldn’t end the conversation without getting some travel tips from Khadija. Here’s what you absolutely have to do - Watch the sunrise and sunset at Edge of the World, eat traditional Saudi food like Kabsa, Jareesh and Markook and make sure to visit the Al Mamlaka and Al Faisaliah towers!

Bollywood Hungamming with Faridoon

My first Bollywood experience was Amitabh Bachchan's Mard. Funnily enough, a German family friend introduced me to Bollywood at the age of eight on a summer holiday in Munich. There was no turning back from here. Watching Bollywood movies is how I spent most of my weekends as a child, much to my mother's disapproval. Apparently, Bollywood doesn't count as an "extracurricular activity". I took a break from Bollywood when the pressures of hectic school curricula took over. This was the era of bad cinema with shabby dialogues and vulgar choreography. I wasn't missing out. Towards the end of my student days, I found myself in Bournemouth for a year and discovered that my local newsagent sold Bollywood VCDs (Note: these are not legit DVDs and yes, they're dodgy). Alone in cold and rainy Bournemouth with very few Asians, I ran right back into Bollywood's arms as if no time had passed, kind of like those chiffon sari clad actresses on the snowy Alps. It was just so comforting to have Bollywood in my life again. Hrithik Roshan had just exploded on the scene, dancing was awesome and movies were daring. Storytelling mattered. Bollywood had evolved.

I wanted to learn more about a journalist whose celebrity interviews I never miss. Faridoon Shahryar, Content Head of Broadband at Bollywood Hungama, is a popular name in Indian media entertainment. His 2000+ interviews of actors, directors, producers and musicians are hard to miss. With his signature cap and tee, Faridoon is well respected and loved by celebrities. You can easily see their fondness for him in interviews and press meets (note the interview with Ranbir Kapoor and Anushka Sharma below from 14:15, and on the green carpet with Ranveer Singh at IIFA 2016 in Madrid). The focus of my blog isn't on the stars Faridoon interviews but the journalist behind the interviews and the man behind the journalist. He is a celebrity in his own right, with over 60,000 Twitter followers to his credit. Read below some highlights from our conversation.

Your father wrote the lyrics for the original Umrao Jaan. What has his influence been on your creative endeavors?

We were friends and discussed anything and everything together. He was extremely frank with me and while he is no more, he left behind some great words of wisdom which have helped me along various junctures in life. His poetry is brilliant and as time passes he's becoming bigger and bigger. I have always been closer to my mom who is a great writer too and was an English professor. My interest in English Literature is credit to her.

What role has poetry played in Bollywood?

Poetry was an intrinsic part of film songs since the beginning of the talkie era. Majrooh Sultanpuri, Shailendra, Kaifi Azmi, Anand Bakshi, Sahir Ludhiyanvi, Gulzar and Javed Akhtar are all very fine poets. It was more intricate earlier. Today the emphasis is more on simple expressions.

Whose work do you appreciate in journalism? 

I am inspired by Ellen DeGeneres. From our own political journalists I admire Rajdeep Sardesai, Rana Ayyub and Barkha Dutt.

Bollywood is making great strides in Hollywood today. Where do you see Bollywood twenty years from now?

Bollywood has always made an impact in Hollywood in small measures. We still have a way to go. Irfan Khan is widely respected in Hollywood. It remains to be seen what the response to Deepika Padukone and Priyanka Chopra's releases will be.

What's the biggest misconception about Bollywood around the world?

That it's all about gossip. I don't like the way entertainment journalism is treated frivolously. Many journalists and media houses are responsible for this perception too. I strongly believe in bringing infotainment (factual information) and entertainment through my interviews and voice on social media, but I also always try to do serious interviews on burning topics like intolerance, the recent Fawad Khan issue and when Shahrukh Khan and Aamir Khan were targeted last year. I want to be taken seriously as a journalist and respect is very important for me which goes hand in hand with credibility.
 

What distinguishes good content from great content?

There is too competition across news channels and the online space, so much so that it's pushing journalists to sensationalize non-facts. In the hunger to outdo each another, people are going to all extents to fabricate news breaking stories. There is too little focus on reporting facts and too much opinion. I am proud of my no holds barred interviews with directors Kabir Khan and Anuragh Kashyab. I'm fortunate to have had a free voice at Bollywood Hungama.

There is a certain innocence in your interviews which our generation lost somewhere between watching Western music videos on TV to taking Subha Hone Na De literally. Are you a bit of a closeted introvert?

You are right, I am innocent (jokes). Interviewing has helped me open up a lot. I was always outgoing but extremely shy. It all started when  my work at indiaglitz.com was noticed by Bollywood Hungama and this organically propelled me in front of the camera. When I have  a sporting celebrity who's prepared to talk, I can get a little cheeky. I don't want to be predictable at all. The surprise value is very, very important.  

Any chance we will get to read a celebrity biography from Faridoon?

I want to write a biography one day. Watch this space.

Your song covers have been appreciated by the stars. Are there any other hidden talents we haven’t discovered yet?

I enjoy swimming, meeting new people, traveling and writing poetry. 

What is a typical day in the life of Faridoon Shahryar?

I wake up early to drop my daughter to her school bus, prepare breakfast for my wife, read newspapers, go to the gym, swim, coordinate with the Bollywood Hungama team, hold interviews, spend time with my family in the evening and it's early to bed from there.

Is it challenging to have a successful marriage when every second Bollywood marriage is making headlines?

I realized I couldn't make decisions in this area without making a fool out of myself and left it to my mother.  She introduced me to my wife of fifteen years, Aarefa who was her student at Aligarh Muslim University. I knew she was the one when I met her. Within ten days of meeting each other, we were engaged and three months later, we were married. Right now, I'm a huge supporter of arranged marriages. They have a novelty value. Love marriages are mostly the filmi romance people imagine. My wife and daughter are my biggest supporters.

At this point in our interview, Faridoon quoted legendary Kumar Sanu's song, Jab Koi Baat Bigar Jaye. I listened intently. It's not every day that a girl has poetry recited to her. "Ho chandni jab tak raath deta hai har koi saath. Ho chandni jab tak raath deta hai har koi saath. Tum magar andheron me na chorna mera haath".

You can follow Faridoon on Twitter @iFaridoon or catch his latest interviews on Facebook @bollywoodhungamacom.